Oct 2, 2014

October 2nd. 

Today is my 7 year anniversary. Darin and I have had a LOT of ups and downs. Through all the ups and downs I have learned that I couldn't live without Darin in my life. He is my best friend. He has seen me through a lot of emotional crap. We have been through so much. I really couldn't be the person I am without him just being there. He listens to me bitch about work stuff. He lets me cry when life seems unfair. He goes and grabs me cookies when I am sad. I am so thankful for Darin. He is such an amazing dad. He helps me with Kyla in the middle of the night. He plays with Alora when she is lonely. The love I see in his eyes when he looks at his kids. It makes me want to cry. I love my husband!

Aug 15, 2011

What is going on with you and Daron?

We are seperated and I am thinking about asking for a divorce...

Ask me anything

Jul 26, 2011

Alora is 20 weeks old, life, and baby Marley

Holy cow! Who would have thunk? Alora has been teething for about a month full blown and still no sign of it pushing through. She has learned to roll over and is slowly working on crawling. She is doing amazing. She absolutely loves fireworks, its like watching her open a present, the amazement of all the flashes is so much fun! Life has been rough lately. Darin still hasn't found a job and we are suffering with that. It is so hard to rely on my parents to help me buy diapers and formula. It is killing me emotionally to ask when I know they are struggling financially too.

Saturday was a very empowering day for me. I helped my best friend Kat give birth to my "nephew" Marley. She is such a strong woman! Her baby shortly after birth was whisked to the NICU, due to meconium in his lungs. Later we found out that the meconium caused his lung to make a hole in its self. My heart broke in that moment for her. She has been super strong and she shows me how to be strong for our kids. I just wish that he wasnt as sick as he was when he was born. It was so hard to watch her deal with all the scary things happening to her son. But she of course took it all in stride and laughed and tried to make Marley comfy and let him know that we all love him and that he will get better.

I better go take care of my small one... Much love, Claresa and Alora

Apr 5, 2011

4 weeks ago I gave birth to her

So It has been 4 weeks since my peanut came into the world. Here goes what I can remember of the whole process of getting her here.

On Friday the 4th we went in to the doctors to get a non-stress test and see if I was dialated at all. I hadnt up to this point dilated at all. I go in she is kicking and moving which is fantastic that is what they want to see. We do our non-stress test which turned out awesome. We go to the exam room Amy (the Medical assistant) tells me to strip. I get checked and I still havent dilated. My doctor looks at me with sad eyes... He really didnt want to have to use Pitocin. We set up my appointment to get induced for Tuesday the 8th at 5:30am. We say here is hoping for a miricle and hoping that I dilate.

On the morning of the 8th at 4:00am I woke up and started getting ready to go to the hospital. I had only fell asleep 3 hours earlier but I was full of energy. I got showered and called the on call nurse in charge to see if it was still ok to come in. I called they said come on in. So I get Darin out of bed and we get all our bags and things ready. As we were walking out the door, I noticed it had snowed a whole bunch. I thought it was funny that it had stormed the night before she was going to make her grand entrance. We get to the hospital get all checked in and get some what settled. I get all hooked up and get blood drawn. The nurse got my pitocin going. I gotta tell you that stuff works fast. Then we take and hour to do my personal history. When they check me I am dilated to 1cm and 80-90% effaced (thinning of the cervix) Woohoo! So they hike up the pitocin. Thanks to that my contractions get stronger. Every 20 minutes they would come in and hike it up. When I got to 22 on the iv counter thing they stopped taking it up till my doctor came in and saw me. When Dr. Barney came in he checked me said I was a very tough 2 and still 90% that my cervix wasnt soft. He decided to break my water so we could see if that would help and that they could take my pitocin up to 30. When Dr. Barney broke my water there was Meconium. That is a tar like black/greeen bm that the baby makes My step dad had taken the hubby out for lunch at about this time so that they didnt eat infront of me.
It was and hour after that, that I asked for my epidural. My contractions were getting pretty intense and I just couldnt breathe through them. Ron my Anesthesiologist was FANTASTIC. He got my epidural in on the first try. He was completely understanding that I was super freaked out and talked me through it.

I dont remember much of the conversations that I had with the people that showed up while I was hopped up on epidural meds. But I do wanna say, that when I got my epidural I was happy. I didnt hurt and I could actually rest and enjoy things. At 6:30pm Dr. Barney came back and checked my cervix. I hadnt progressed at all. He looked at me saddened and he said "we could wait for a few more hours but I doubt that it would do much good and at that point we would be doing an emergency C-section due to the meconium staining. I am going to suggest we do the C-section now so we can take our time"

I of course wanting to do the right thing for her I said yes. No I hadnt wanted one in the first place I like every woman out there wanted natural child birth. The nurses came in and gave me this stuff to neutralize my tummy so I wouldnt throw up. And Ron came back and started the STRONG stuff. As they were working with me my mom asked if she could be in the OR with Darin and I. My Doctor said of course and the 3 of us left everyone.

They got me completely numbed and got me all prepped for the fun. As I was laying on the table I looked up at the bright over head lights and noticed that I could see what was happening in a reflection. I watched for a few minutes. My doctor said that I was going to feel pressure and some tugging. I looked up and I watched them pull her out of my tummy. She was silent for a few seconds. then all of a sudden I heard her cry. I of course start bawling. They rushed her over to get checked my mom went with her. I heard some laughing in the background, come to find out a few minutes later, my cute newborn had pooped on the nurse and 2 times on the sterile floor. LOL. The nurses got her all clean and wrapped and Darin brought her over to me and I felt so happy but so tired.

Dr. Barney stitched me up and sent me to recover. The nurses un-draped me and handed me my daughter and wheeled me off to my room. When we got to my room there were about 15 people there. I thought there was a party going on. I got all settled and it was then that I was told I had 10 minutes to hold my daughter then they would have to take her for observation due to the meconium in her lungs. Darin and my Mom went with her to the nursery, while I was stuck in bed and couldnt move. All I wanted to do was cry. While darin was with her in the nursery she wouldnt stop sucking on his fingers. She had came out knowing what to do. 4 hours later I finally got her back to feed her she started nursing like a champ.

After 3 days I was begging to go home so they let me come home. I have been loving all the time with her. Yes I do get frustrated and no it isnt easy but every dang second it is worth it. She is a smart cookie and she is getting bigger and stronger everyday. I love her to bits.