Toes..... Go OWCHIE

This is ADDish you have been warned. So the day before yesterday i had a doctors appointment to have the guy look at my ingrown toe nails.... he said that they had to come out as soon as possible... but he was totally swamped for the rest of the day and that we would have to come back the next day.... here is the problem.... I live in sugar house my doctors office is on 12300 south and 2300 w... For me that is a long ways away...So anyway we come home get settled in and i start to panic.. asking my self what ifs and stuff like that... So i go to the doctors yesterday... My doctor was absolutely amazing... He got me laying down to get me comfy. So he told me everything as he was doing it which for me calmed me down. The best part (yes the best) was that my fantastic husband stayed right by my side held my hand through the pain. He just sat and asked me questions to help him with his art work. I paid more attention to answering his questions i didn't feel hardly any pain during the procedure... Now is a totally different thing... They are sore and achy. The pain medication haven't kicked in yet so I am blogging to keep my mind off of the pain. My husband is the most caring guy... he is really squeamish about blood and stuff but he has been keeping me bandaged... he always runs and get me things because walking is painful... He is so freaking amazing... I feel like i cant love him more then he just steps things up another notch and makes me love him more and more... I love him more and more everyday. I never felt so much love for one person than i have for him...His art work is getting better and better. He has a website www.shatteredrealms.deviantart.com He does some adult things....just FYI. I love you sweetie.... OH if anyone out there in blog land knows about any animator jobs send me an email or whatever Darin would like to get going on working on what he graduated in. Please i would be eternally grateful. You maybe wondering how me and Darin are going to pay for this... well here is the story(i think we are receiving some luck) the person doing the coding and billing for my Doctor left him high and dry in a really bad situation... in comes my amazing step dad... He said in exchange for him doing the coding and billing that my doctor Kirt Larson would just give his family medical services. How luck am I to have such amazing men in my life. As i look back i have been really judgmental of him and he goes and does this for me... I am so grateful you have no idea the happiness i am feeling right now. As of recently Darin and I have been slowly paying off the bills thank goodness. I guess this is just a blog about the special men in my life. As for me i am happy to have the bad toenails gone...I can wear close toe shoes again without worrying about it killing my toes via the nail. The pain meds are finally kicking in...So I am going to say goodnight/goodmorning to all Luvs Claresa as usual

just another day

As I sit here listening to my dear old Darin snore, I am contemplating life and what is going to hold for me. I just finished my class in Dialysis... I hope that as soon as the new year comes that there will be jobs. I am going to go to a dialysis center and watch the other Technicians do what I hope to be doing soon. I am just nervous about the needles. I don't want to hurt anyone but if it is going to help then I guess I have to learn right? Darin finally got his first check and we made a 450 dollar payment to the stupid collection agency... I just hope that will help us when we go to court... we only have 814 dollars to go.... For us it is a whole lot of money going into paying these guys off. I cant believe we let ourselves get this far into debt in our first year. I just don't know what to do. I want a baby so bad but i don't want to bring a baby into Darin's parents house. Darin's dad is completely emotionally abusive and I don't want my baby to ever be around that. I know I should give Bob the benefit of the doubt but I just cant. Not after the way he has treated me and my marriage. I do owe him a lot of money for helping us out. But at the time he said don't worry about it. Just take it, it is a gift... Now he is demanding like 5000 dollars out of us and he knows we don't have that kind of money. What should I do? I need a job but when someone you trust says just wait until the first of the year and your chances of jobs will be higher, you take that advice and bide your time right? I hope so because that is what I am going to do. There are no jobs right now for Dialysis Techs. I just hope jobs open up soon! I know I dont blog that much but I promise more... Life has just been so hectic that I just want to die... I dont even have friends that I can hang out with on a weekly or monthly basis. I am sad and lonely I know I have my husband but I need a girls night out or whatever... Girlfriends are needed! HELP ME PLEASE! For now, Claresa